its 11:12 and im not even in the mood for sleep…
im waiting, hoping she wakes up in the middle of the night
so we can talk about those text messages i sent her…
i want to get to the bottom of this all
once and for all…
every minute that goes by tonight i will just be hoping
that something wakes her up…
so she can read them…
guaranteed she will take them the wrong way…
call me insecure, call me paranoid…
failing to see what im really asking her, what i really want from her..
but i know if she was in my position, she would feel the same…
every day, wondering, thinking, whats really going on…
why have these things happened?
do she think i dont notice these small things?
or thinks i wont think anything of it…
i know she would think of it, if it were me with this type of behaviour
i only hope i get the answer i want…
and she assures me im wrong…
that these things mean nothing…
that she can get rid of them…
but i know she wont…
she will ask what the big deal is, why is it necessary to get rid of it…
failing to see how it makes me feel…
how her actions are affecting me…
she doesnt see that she hasnt denied it…ever…
she beats around the question,
not giving me a straight answer
thats all i want…
a yes or no…
i want to know
i need to know….
…..
